THE GIRL WHO SMILED NO-MORE
Emotions. Feelings. Politics. Relationships. have all drained me tired and extremely fast.
I dont know what to do.
I dont know what to say.
I dont know how I should feel.
I dont know how to approach life.
How I wish to be stranded on an island with nothing and noone.
I want to be alone with no other distractions.
I want to have ample time, to think through what is best for myself.
I know that I have not picked myself up from the fall 2mths back.
I lack of the courage.
Reluctant to wake up.
I really need someone to give me a good scolding, to wake me up.
Putting on a smile everyday, but behind that smile, its the pain, agony, frights, cries...
Its tiring.
I need the strength each day to pull myself out of the hole to face everyone.
I tried.
But this aint myself at all.
Huishan is never the huishan anymore.

I felt a slight distance from you lately.
We din talked much.
At the end of the day, your that lil action of walking up to me and that lil string of words you spoke, make me feel touched and let me know that
"Hey, you are not forgotten"
You made me smile still, even when Im totally worn-out.

Im always being attacked with one sure-to-be question when I meet up with different bunch of friends.
If I say Im working den they will shoot me with,
"Are you going to further study?"
This question not once left my mind, even before I graduated.
I would very much love to study.
Because I know that's when I am happy and relax, and I treasure those moments.
Totally stress-free and nothing to worry about the politics, facing the working life out there.
The key point, I cant decide what to study.

Working an office hour job is definitely a disgust to me.
Im not someone who is made to sit still.
Contradiction possessed me.
Im doing that right now.
Pursuing a job which really provides me with a degree of satisfaction.
So far, I have yet to achieve that kinda fulfillment and contentment.

You have left me with a big question mark.
"What is your goal in life?"
Goal is determined by oneself.
What is my goal?
I tried to figure it out in many ways but just find myself back to square one.

I got so many things to write.
I dont wish to bottle things up.
But everything seems to be so confined in my mind, so cramped up that I feel so restricted and lost to what I gonna say.

Life is short.
I've never stopped and appreciate the beauty and wonders of god.
Witness how i nearly lost a friend.
Life and death is a thin line apart.
I've many things I wished to do, but yet to do.
What if I die tomorrow?
I will live in regrets.
When am I going to start accomplishing?
Cherished life.

This song plays:
Packing up the dreams God planted
In the fertile soil of you
I can't believe the hopes He's granted
Means a chapter of your life is through

But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

And with the faith and love God's given
Springing from the hope we know
We will pray the joy you live in
Is the strength that now you show

We'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

To live as friends

Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

No a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends